Yet walking out of your life doesn’t still sit well with me.
I dare not call this love cause love I believe doesn’t cause this much damage.
I’m caught between leaving for my own mental and emotional health and sticking with you for the fun & pleasure. Tried leaving but my already damaged heart keeps pulling me back to you.
Deep down I know I’m supposed to forget what I feel and go for what I deserve.
Funny how the unhealthy emotional attachment between us tends to be so strong.
I lost myself trying to fix you, now I’m as damaged as you are and I’ve forgotten how having a good thing feels.
So difficult differentiating between a genuine ship (relationship, friendship e.t.c) from a toxic one.
Used to being hurt that not getting hurt makes me doubt if a thing is right for me.
Now I can’t even tell if I’m the toxic one or if you still are.
The only thing I am sure of is that I am damaged.
Toxic & manipulative people are so good at purposefully confusing you, they are skilled liars and great actors. You unconsciously find yourself depending on their opinions and doubting yours, they always end up leaving you drained and emotionally wiped out. Then you begin to make excuses for them, you begin to believe and internalize the lies they feed you and in turn affect how you view yourself and your worth.
I want you to ask yourself this question; Is this what I really deserve? Your response I believe is enough to push you into taking a step out. I will be stating few ways to help get out of toxic ships.
1)Accept that the ship is toxic.
2)Realise you deserve healthy love.
3)Remember who you are.
4)cut off every form of communication and remember it won’t be easy.
5)Fill the void and surround yourself with positivity.
I believe these steps would be of great help. Thanks for reading through, it is an honor having you here❤️ do well to like, subscribe, share, and also drop a comment 🥺 Thank you so much 🙏🥰
Now a prisoner of my thoughts hoping to be freed soon. Wandering around aimlessly waiting to be rescued. Crying and screaming for help but no one could hear me. Still tried to be hopeful but as the day goes by, my hope dashes into the thin air.
Became silent and they called it pride, played and laughed more they called me noisy, tried smiling, they called it fake, cried and they called me weak, now I choose not to care, they call me wicked, disrespectful, and useless.
What then do I need to do? Not even a soul could see the pains in my eyes &smiles. rather, they saw all the wrongs. It is eating me inside-out. Drained is how I feel (mentally / Emotionally )
Initially, when it all started I didn’t know what to call it but I knew I never liked or understood how I felt. All I knew was that I was tired and I wanted to go home. My sanity is what I call home.
A lot of people get into this messy state, it's okay, it's nothing to be ashamed of. Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so and mind you, the only journey is the journey within, some of us are lucky enough to find our way back home while some end it right there, but that doesn't mean they weren't strong, they probably just forgot that giving up should never be an option. I will list a few ways to help heal this state;
1)Detach yourself psychologically 2)Take a break 3)Get more sleep 4)Control (choose how to spend your time and do things the way you want to do them) 5)Talk to someone.
I hope these stated above will be of help to anyone in this state. Thanks for reading through🥰and to my new readers you’re welcome to “ a talk with pecky”🤝 ❤️🥰Thanks once again and bye 👋
It cut so deep into the head Makes it harder for you to put it into words. Moods become as unpredictable as the weather. You feel so good for a minute and the next it is the other way around. For a second, you feel so strong, unstoppable, outstanding, and excited, the next minute, you feel lost, vulnerable with very low self-esteem.
Am I really good enough? Why do I look this way? (my face, my body e.t.c) Why can’t I ever be loved right? I probably shouldn’t hang out, I don’t fit in. I don’t think I am worth it, I should just stay low.
These are just a bit of the random things the voices in our head say to us(depends on what you are insecure about). Then the mood swings set in, you’re now stuck between answering all the questions in your head or ignoring them.
This’s what being insecure feels like. It is an inner feeling of being threatened and/or inadequate in some way. At some point in our life, we’ve all felt insecure about something, which is quite normal but it becomes bad when it gets too much and can sabotage one’s success in life, particularly one’s intimate relationship ’cause insecurity feeds one’s mental health issues like depression, low self-esteem, and anxiety so I will be stating few ways to stop this feeling and building your self-esteem.
1)step away 2)Affirm your value 3)prioritize your needs 4)challenge your thoughts 5)Embrace the awkward and reflect on the good. 6)keep good company and make time for joy. And one thing I want you to always remember is that ”No one is perfect, that’s why pencils have erasers and winning doesn’t always mean being first ”.
Thank you so much for reading through, I wish you a Merry Christmas and a prosperous new year 🥰Lot of love from pecky❤️ Byeee 👋
The hole in my heart is so deep that it can’t be filled by my effort alone.
Surrounded by a lot of humans but still, feel empty.
A tiny mental hole that keeps me from being happy, and for every trial to fill the empty spot with happy thoughts always end up leaking out. Worst of all, the longer the hole stays, the bigger it seems to get.
Loneliness is indescribable to those who haven’t felt it and need no description of those who have.
I’d prefer being left alone than being lonely
Too bad I can’t help it.
So many humans around but the void in me remains.
It makes it hard to share your feelings and thought which causes a cycle of isolation.
It’s like a hired assassin that stalks you, it waits and tortures you with its presence, and then take everything away from you.
A lot of us have been in this position or probably in this state right now. For those who don’t know the difference between being alone and being lonely, below is a brief definition;
Being alone is simply the physical state of not being with another individual. While being lonely is a psychological state characterized by a distressing experience occurring when one social relationship is perceived to be less in quality and quantity than desired.
But I just want to tell you, that you will be fine. And so I will be stating few ways to help get over it.
1)Realize loneliness is a feeling, not a fact.
3)Stop your negative thoughts cycles.
4)Generate a sense of awe.
5)Pay attention to the things that matter.
6)Be nice to yourself.
I hope this will be of great help. Thanks so so so much for clicking on the link, it been a while and I know you miss me, I miss you too, yes you, I miss you!!!!!😩 And to my new readers, welcome🤝 don’t forget to subscribe, like, comment, and share, I will really appreciate 🥺I remain your one and only Pecky🥰 Byeeee!!!!!!!❤️
These were the pleadings of a human,crying and struggling to be free but all to no avail. Nothing said or done could stop it from happening. It looks ordinary but deep down there is a very strong force behind it . A force that doesn’t make you get soften by the pleadings ,everything at that moment doesn’t seems to move you ,you are literally numb at that moment.
It then happens , you are satisfied,you stand up ,dress up and then walk away smiling but what about the victim ? What about the pains ? What about the trauma?
Did it ever cross your mind ? The night mares ,loneliness, depression,fears ,did any of these cross your mind ?
Turned an happy soul to a sad one ,made one a prisoner of his/her thoughts,made love and trust an impossible thing to them . Why ruin someone’s life all because of a thing that wouldn’t last for an hour ?why Cause someone a life time pain all because of your urge ?
And yeah ,society makes it harder for the victim to speak up . You get blamed and judged and stigmatized just for speaking up . As a lady you get questioned about your dressings,where you were ,the time ..e.t.c . As a guy they laugh it off cause it sounds unbelievable to them . Oh yes ,Men also get raped too !!!!! Rape isn’t just fixed for a specific gender or age -group . Men get raped ,women get raped ,children also get raped (pedophile ). Yes that is why it is called rape ,let me state a brief definition of that word “RAPE”
“IT’s an unlawful sexual activity carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against a person’s will or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent. “
Rape is never an option no matter the circumstances, no one deserves that. You can do better than that . Channel that force into something more positive,sure the world will be more better when we have less damaged people in it .
Yes, less damaged people. Rape is something that has been going on for eons but is hardly talked about, all thanks to the society that made it difficult for the victims/survivors to speak up because the person they claimed raped them doesn’t look like someone capable of doing such🤦♀️Do rapist have to look like a rapist? Do they have a particular look for rapists???
Funny how the rapist tends to live freely and the victim suffers the questioning, stigma, and most of all the traumatic stress.
Let me state a few traumatic stress/ typical responses to sexual assault the victims go through;
* Depression *Disruption in a close relationship. *Sleep disturbance & fatigue. *Inability to concentrate. *Triggers and anxiety attacks e.t.c
To anyone who has experienced this and probably still struggling to get over it , I just want to let you know that you will be fine. Speak to someone if you can, do what you love, do what makes you happy, just let it all out❤️Time heals, you are so strong and I believe someday you will be strong enough to help anyone who will by chance go through such.
And yes!!!! Thanks for reading through, my readers both old and new you are welcome🥰thanks for clicking on the link again 🙏I know the last weeks have been so draining due to the #Endsars protest, we did great, and to the lost souls, May they rest in peace💔✊don’t forget to like, share and comment🥺Byeee🥰😘
You said I looked good, I got a great personality, I got an enormous and sweet-heart, you said I was all you’ve always wanted. At first, I felt so fortunate about the declarations that I was too blind to see through it.
Every night I’d go back to the messages staring and smiling at them. Felt I had finally found my soul mate. we bonded so well, hanged out a couple of times, and eventually did everything possible.
It was all happening so fast, I craved for you so much that I didn’t realize what we had gone deep into had no tag. Too late to ask, cause you felt no need to make it official. This was the minute I realized that I had fucked up, but I felt so drawn to you that I wasn’t willing to walk away so I had to accept.
Things began to change, You don’t call and text like you used to, you’d just beep me only for hook up. It hurt so bad that each time I try to speak to you about it, it’s either you are too busy to have such a conversation or you’ll clearly remind me of not being yours(officially) that was obviously the hardest pill for me to swallow.
Tried to leave severally but my emotions kept drawing me back..what happened to my good look? great personality? to my big and sweetheart? Oh yeah, I get;
The late-night tears changed my look, the jealousy made me a nag, and the big and sweetheart got broken into pieces. I died daily, but I just couldn’t speak up ’cause that is the position a situationship plops you into.
Wasn’t I good enough? what wasn’t I doing right? ain’t I enough? this was me constantly questioning and blaming myself, hmmmmm, my self-esteem finally broken.
Days, weeks, and months went by and I began to pick myself up, I realized I wasn’t asking for too much, I was only asking the wrong person. I realized I was so good and worth it and it was a loss for you cause I can’t love you as I used to and you deserve the world, but I am the world and I obviously deserve better!!!!
Finally found me again and this time I will never lose myself to anyone because I am good, I am rare, I’m amazing, confident, worth it and I’m enough!!!!!!
A lot of us have been in this situation, be it intentionally or not. Just incase you don’t know what a situationship really means, here is a quick definition;
“A situationship is that space between a committed relationship and something that is more than a friendship “
Being in a situationship isn’t so bad, but like we all know that whatever has an advantage will most definitely have a disadvantage(which may probably be higher in this case).
This write up is for those who find themselves in this situation and can’t control it or walk away, I want you to ask yourself this question;
Who am I?
The very moment you get to figure out who you really are, is the very moment you will forget what you feel and remember what you deserve 🤞
Thanks so much for reading through cuties and to my new readers you’re welcome 🥰 I hope you enjoyed it, do well to like, comment and share. And if you by any chance want to share any of your personal experience or you have any suggestions do well to send a message to S.I.O.
Gmail: firstname.lastname@example.org Instagram: @S.I.O(sayitout) Note: you would be kept anonymous 🙏
Good day cuties😍 how are you today? Thanks for clicking on the link once again and for the new readers, it’s an honor to have you here🤝🥰 I am going to make this as brief and blunt as possible, so straight to the point;
Have you ever wondered what our generation will be known for in the decades to come? Will this generation be looked at as the generation that gave up on love? Absolutely yes!!!
This generation is so odd. Almost everyone is playing a game, but tired of being played but still not ready to settle down.
Being in love in this generation is terrifying, loyalty is so rare and people are so quick to choose a good time over a good thing.
Our society does not know what love is. Society tells us love is 2 a.m text messages telling someone how lonely you are. Society defines love as something that selfishly satisfies your own desires but that’s wrong because love is ”Unselfish, loyal and benevolent ”.
Relationships these days are centered around just physical connections rather than emotional ones.
Why don’t we take it back to the 90s
Where it wasn’t just a word, Where it wasn’t just a game, where it was always genuine. Where you don’t just say it but you also do mean it .
Back to the time where loyalty and trust wasn’t seen as dumbness. Where having friends wasn’t something to be scared of.
What changed? Who is at fault ? This generation or the last ones ? How long are we going to live with so much fear? Fear to love ? Fear to trust ? Fear to commit to something or someone? How long !!!!!!!
Love is now a word and sex is just a game.
Loyalty is now a flimflam . Giving up is now an option . Hope someday we all will realize that things like these can’t be bought, that things like these deserve to be valued and appreciated.
When you find someone who still values and appreciates love, trust, and loyalty (friendship or relationship) never let such person slip off your hands. It is so rare these days . Don’t let your latter be related to this quote ;
“You will never know the worth of what you have until you lose it “ but that doesn’t mean you should be desperate and end up settling for less. You deserve the love you are willing to give out.
Thanks for reading through, I hope it was relatable? Don’t forget to like, follow, comment, and share with your friends 🙏✌️
I still remain your one and only pecky_unusual 🥰❤️🌹Bye!!!!!
The first step to emotional connectivity is loving yourself(self-love). There’s a lot that comes with self-love; Greater happiness, stronger resilience, increased motivation, better physical and mental health e.t.c Before I proceed I will love to give a brief definition of self-love.
”According to Merriam Webster dictionary, self-love is said to be proper regard for and attention to one’s own happiness or wellbeing”.
Truth be told, the majority of us lack this. We go about seeking for love and regards from others(vice-versa) and get hurt in the process, you know why? Because you can’t give what you don’t have!!! Beneath is poetry about loving yourself, I believe in one way or the other it’s relatable.
It’s not a myth
It’s never a joke
Depression hits your rock bottom and we have nowhere to turn to
Friends and family have left because our once happy smile has turned to a hollow laughter
But there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel
Screaming love yourself!!!
Everything I try, I feel like it never works
I’m either fighting myself in my head or fighting my family
Nobody understands me and holidays are Worst ’cause It seems like the world’s smiling without me
I know what they say when they talk about me
I know they look at me and wish I was gone
I’m a mess, I’m depressed but I say it proudly ’cause that’s what makes me and nobody’s perfect but I keep ongoing hoping it’s worth it.
I’m still fighting all these demons in my head
I’m never really alone ’cause they’ll be with me till I’m probably dead
But I promise this, no matter how heartless you feel deep inside there is always a little light
You could still be who you want to be, trust me it’s never too late to start all over. we’ve got time to make amends and changes
And I know how it feels to be judged by all your mistakes because life isn’t perfect
They point at all of your flaws, throw it in your face, and that is weighing you down, you feel like you can’t get a break
Trust me you ain’t the only one
In a world full of people we’re just the lonely ones
The hurt ones
The lost ones
The crazy ones
The misplaced, battered and bruised one’s
Where do you go when the world sits on your shoulders?
No one’s there to answer your questions searching for closure
why do we run from the love that we’ve all been searching for?
You’d probably only understand if you’ve been hurt before
Well, you’re not alone and would never be
All the places you go, you feel like it’s not a home
I know you feel like there’s no escape
I know you try holding faith
I know you still try to smile even though you made some mistakes
Just hold on for the ones who wanna see you win
And we’ll hold on for you
We’ll hold on for anybody who’s broken and bruised
I used to hate myself and didn’t know what to do
Bottled my emotions, I locked myself in a room
Hurt by all the people I trusted, that did me dirty and made me feel I can never be happy
But I learned not to waste water on gardens that never bloom ’cause it’s a lost course
This life is beautiful
Don’t give up too soon ’cause you never really know what could happen
And no matter what they do to you
Don’t let them break your soul before the star inside fizzles out
Cause I promise time heals every hurt maybe the scars too if you would allow it
I know some scars never heal
Sometimes pain’s is all we can feel
But that’s what shows that you’re real and you human
I’ve been through some things I would never confess
So I just keep it all inside and feel the weight in my chest
God knows I was low and depressed
I mean I lost my touch with God and humanity
But he still shows me I’m blessed cause he is blessed to have me as his creation.
Yes!!! He is blessed to have us as his creation, it will do you no harm loving yourself if you call it selfish then so be it, just love yourself.
Do you want to know why self-love is very important? It is the key to mental health and well-being, keeping depression and anxiety at bay. A little tip to what happens when you love yourself (my experience )
I started to feel more secure as a person as I tap into my inner being. I started to believe in myself more. I started to trust myself more.
PS: when you deepen your connection with yourself through self-love, you will connect on a deeper level with others🤞For a start, I will be giving you five ways to develop self-love. 1)Forgive yourself. 2)start each day by telling yourself something really positive. 3)Stop the comparison. 4)Embrace and love things that make you different. 5)Find something to be grateful for every day!!!
Now that you have all these steps listed out, go ahead and love yourself🥰 I hope this write up was helpful. If it was, please like, follow, comment, and don’t forget to share with those friends who you feel would want it🙏
Thanks so much for reading through😁 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Good day cuties welcome to ”S.I.O” I am so excited you clicked on the link💃it’s an honor to have you here.
My name is Olokor peculiar , I am a student of BENSON IDAHOSA UNIVERSITY, 300L studying INTERNATIONAL STUDIES AND DIPLOMACY (ISD). You can call me ambassador pecky🥰
This blog is created with the aim of channeling every feeling into written form thereby connecting with the readers emotionally and also relating to every individual in ways they felt wouldn’t be understood by just anyone.
While growing up(still growing )I have always had this passion for writing and influencing people positively. I have always felt the need to be a voice and a reason for a change. I used to have a weekly show known as ”A talk with pecky” on Instagram, Facebook, and WhatsApp of which I dropped due to some reasons best known to me but I will most definitely get back to it.
And I want to say thank you to my team ”THE UNUSUAL” for being so loyal, diligent, and supportive and also thanks to everyone who has been a source of motivation🙏Now I have this platform, it will serve as an avenue for putting out all the stuff I have been grooming 🙃📝
You!!!! Yes you, don’t go too far, I have a lot of outstanding and engaging content for you, thanks for reading through 🌹🥰😘Bye!!!!